I’ve got to admit, when I arrived in India, I wasn’t smitten like I am by so many other countries. The smoggy skies, soundtrack of screeching of horns, trash-strewn streets and the smells (oh, the smells!) of New Delhi welcomed me, and I wondered what the hell I’d gotten myself into.
Before we traveled to India, other travelers tried to describe this country to us, but they always came short of words.
“India can’t be explained,” each of them would say. “It can only be felt. You just have to go and experience it yourself to understand.”
It was as if all people who had traveled to India were in some sort of secret club, and their answers were maddening. But now, after spending a month and a half in this country, I get it. Ben and I have become members of the secret club, and I understand what each of these people was trying to say.
It’s true: India can’t easily be described, but I am going to do my best.
This may sound made up, but I don’t think I ever really experienced culture shock until India. Not when I ventured overseas for the first time and made the cobblestoned streets of Florence my home for my semester abroad. Not when I strapped on my backpack and headed on a 3-month trip to South America. Not even when Ben and I moved to South Korea for one year to teach English.
In all those situations, I had expectations and I was well prepared.
In truth, I had no idea what to expect going into India. And I was more overwhelmed at the prospect of traveling this gigantic country than I was prepared for it.
My first moments in India were spent absorbing the sights from a taxi window. Cattle weaving through traffic, enjoying their holy status. Grown adults using the street as a bathroom. Garbage strewn about liberally as if a trash can had never been invented.
I was immediately reminded of a part in the book Eat, Pray, Love when the author was advised, “Don’t touch anything in India but yourself.” From the get-go, I made that my rule. Though it’s harder than you may think.
After just an hour in India, a word to describe this country came to mind: Messy. And at the time, I meant that in a negative way. Dirty, unclean.
We had just come from Myanmar, a country where the people seriously charmed us. And when we arrived in India, we felt, well, not all that welcomed.
It’s not that we didn’t meet nice people, but overall, the people we met those first few days weren’t nearly as friendly as the rest of those we encountered in Southeast Asia. Unless they were trying to sell us something, of course.
And then were are the stares. I’ve been stared at a lot in the last couple years. Being a gringo in South America will bring some curious looks, and giggling teenagers (and adults) stared at us shyly everywhere we went in South Korea.
But for some reason, the stares in India felt different. When I smiled at the onlooker, I wasn’t always met with a smile in return, and the stares often continued, unashamedly, even after locking eyes with them.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who absolutely adores India, and travels there on every occasion she gets. I was surprised to learn that the stares still bother her. She has come to expect them, yes, but I suppose it’s not something you can easily get used to.
Our first time in India was a lot of things – chaotic, noisy, beautiful, hot, colorful, uncomfortable, exciting, unique. But if I’m honest, we weren’t quite sure if we wanted to return.
A couple weeks after leaving India, we were trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal and had a long conversation about India with a lovely Spanish couple we’d met earlier in the day. The wood stove crackled behind us as we spoke of our experiences in the country to our south.
Although India is right next door, the hot chaos felt a million miles away with snow-capped mountains as our backdrop.
They talked about how the treatment of women in India made them uncomfortable, and how there were some cities where they constantly felt like people were trying to scam them. They talked of being sick for weeks because of something they ate. And we nodded along. Somehow they put into words what we had been feeling about our experience.
But then they told us of some beautiful people they’d met, and some places they visited that just couldn’t be explained in words. We knew it then that we weren’t finished with India.
I may not be selling India very well at the moment, but keep reading. Stick with me. I stuck with India. In fact, Ben and I decided to return for a second time because we felt like we were being pulled back because there was just still so much left to experience and so many people to meet. Traveling to the south of India is really calling our names.
And now, after spending 3 more weeks in India (6 weeks total), I still think “messy” is a fitting word to describe this nation. Though now I mean it differently. Like when a child makes a finger painting and hands it to you, still dripping with paint.
Messy, yes, but charming and colorful too. Full of unique beauty, and while it may not have the perfectly straight lines of the framed paintings on your walls, it may just be one of your favorite pieces of art.
To be honest though, India isn’t an ideal travel destination for everyone. There are some places in this world that I think everyone would love. The Philippines, for example. Or Italy… yes Italy! I may be biased because I studied abroad in Florence, but I truly think there is a city for every person in that country.
But I’m not sure about India.
If you’re not okay being uncomfortable and patiently peeling back the layers of a place and a culture, then I don’t think you could appreciate India.
If you’re not interested in learning and getting out of your comfort zone, then India is not the holiday for you.
If you are traveling to find comfort and cocktails on the beach, I don’t think India would be a great vacation choice. (Sure, there’s Goa, but if you’re not willing to venture past the tourist resorts what’s the point? You won’t be experiencing the real India.)
But, for those of you who are seeking a transformational experience and are willing and excited to jump headfirst into a realm that is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, then India may just be the perfect destination for you.
It may just teach you more than any other place in the world. It may become your favorite piece of art.
India is unapologetically dirty. One has to look past the flies, the garbage piles, the people using the streets as a bathroom… If you can stick with it (and your perpetually dirty feet), you’ll see some of the most exquisite temples and palaces in the world. You’ll eat food that will have you question why you ever mess with Indian restaurants at home.
And you will experience a culture that can’t be described in words – only felt. You can explore ancient cities that look as if they came straight out of a bedtime story, and observe a level of spirituality that can’t be matched anywhere in the world. India is certainly a special place.
A smelly, colorful, crowded, vibrant, hectic, crazy place.
India is kind of like that tattooed, foul-mouthed friend that, once you can get past their rough exterior, you are mesmerized by them and can’t get enough. And I’ve met plenty of people who are absolutely infatuated with this place. Those who never really leave.
The travelers you meet in India are looking for something different than those you meet in the Thai islands. They know travel here is not easy, and not only are they up for the challenge, but that’s what draws them here. India isn’t a place you go to sit on the beach with a bucket of rum, after all. (Well, Goa may be one exception.)
I get how people are mesmerized – India is bright and vivid, with a culture unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The chaos, while maddening at times, can be enthralling too.
I like India, and I am oh so curious about its people and culture. But my relationship with this country is not one that’s effortless. It requires work. I don’t think India will ever enrapture me like the Philippines. I don’t think it’ll charm me like Colombia, or make me fall madly in love like Italy.
There are those who will disagree with me, but isn’t that a beautiful thing? If we all gravitated toward the same places, there’d be no point in traveling – for we’d always be surrounded by the same people.
India, you have challenged me more than any country has before. I’ve had a couple horror stories here (see #5), but I’ve also had some moments that make my heart smile. You have introduced me to some beautiful people and shown me glimpses into a complex culture.
India, you have taught me that my expectation of comfort is quite a bit higher than I thought. I enjoy air conditioning (in 100ºF / 38ºC degree heat!), trash bins, and cute coffee shops more than I ever realized.
And while I didn’t always find traveling easy while I was in your colorful and hectic embrace, I find myself craving more.
India, you have opened up a whole world I never knew existed, and there is so much still to explore. I can’t wait to return to you, India, and experience more of your wild and addicting beauty.
We want to hear from you!
Have you ever visited India? Are you from India? What are your thoughts? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Hey Katie,
Superb blog expressing it bfully. Yes India is not for everyone, I mean deciphering the culture, the people is not easy, but believe me we Indians are the most generous, kind people on this planet that you will experience. We have our own problems and we have our own glories and we are learning to correct the problems. We are marching ahead confidently and a making a positive impression in this world. You wont find a single country in this world which speaks more than 27 languages, more than 1000 dialects, has seas, rugged mountains, snow capped mountains, lush verdant forests, deserts. We are a combination of modern and traditional. I have a small complaint though with westerners, that they will always show the bad side of my country, the filth, cattle on the roads, slums, beggars etc.. but you will very seldom showcase the beauty of this land. I am not denying the wrongs that we have, but that’s not what all India is. I don’t know if you have visited the North of India especially places like simla, Dalhousie, nainital, binsar, Uttarakhand, Kashmir.. the beauty will take your breath away. To the west is the land of Kings Rajasthan with magnificent palaces, forts oozing with opulence, the rugged landscape. Konkan region of Maharashtra with its b’ful seas, and breath taking scenery, amazing food. South you will find bful temples and of course the Gods own country Kerala with verdant landscape, b’ful backwaters. The Silicon valley of India, Bengaluru and much more.. North east is again b’ful with snow capped mountains, lush greenery etc. When it comes to food we hv so many different varieties which can satiate your hunger and your tastes buds. In a nutshell you will need lots of time to explore this mystic land of ours, and you are welcome.
Best Regards
Sameer
Came across this piece of work today 🙂 I am enthralled to see India from a viewpoint of a person who isn’t from here, I always think of India as a country which takes too much from you with great intensity and give you well too much with even greater intensity. I wish you will be messing with this messy all over again.
Your article is pretty good and I understand what you’re saying. Yes, India is not a touristy place. If you want to “experience India”, one trip of 6 weeks is not enough. You have to have a one time long stay or few trips of short stays. A little heads up before travelling to India.
Check out/ research the weather before planning a trip to India. Not everyone can tolerate the heat or rain here. (Weather differs a lot from place to place)
It’s better if you know a local person in India. That would be helpful. A few tips from an Indian you know would be good. ( you can also ask an Indian at your place. They might know well)
As much as tasty Indian food is, not everyone can have it. There are good restaurants, cafes, food outlets, etc. where you can have authentic Indian food.
For transport, there’s Ola, Uber etc. you can use them for places that you’re unsure of or if you feel scammed or stuff. Having a local person to help you will be very beneficial.
India is known for its spirituality. You should definitely experience it.
Gordon Ramsay travelled india. But it’s a food trip. You will get a pretty good idea (he travelled north east, south and north)
Generally, people who travel to India for the first time, expect “ touristy stuff and places” but it’s more than that.
It’s a trip to experience life. A part of life that a person doesn’t think he/she will ever experience.
Hi ,
Very nice article and you are absolutely spot on with your observations when you call traveling in India a transformational experience unlike any other.Or when you say it is like peeling off layers and feeling something deeper .Being a civilization in itself, there could be a sense of not seeking validation from outside. It is hard to see someone (or even some idea/culture) imposing what could be normative in other parts of the world onto India ,without Indians bending it to their own inclinations. And what is true at the macro level as a society’s response to the visiting traveller is visible in equal measure in micro-responses at the individual level- in their receptiveness to new ideas/norms/values . India seeks to engage with the world outside, on its own terms from past experiences .The socialisation of different groups makes responses vary across urban/rural areas or among those who are part of global economic/educational linkages and those who have never been part of such cross-cultural connections .Falling back on perceptions of historical wrongs centered around colonialism, at best could be an invitation to some self indulgent navel gazing or at worst may be a reason for reflexive suspicion/curiousity/hostility towards outsiders (seen in some of the comments below) . But there are equally perceptive Indians who understand the world for what it is and what you mean.
India is a tough country to fall in love with. There are layers upon layers of facades and hypocrisy .But there are also sublime truths and philosophy waiting to be discovered . People enamoured by India do not come only for the sights (there are the Himalayas ,Kerala, the Northeast, the history), but also for a meaning to life. It is hard to plan a trip halfway across the world to just meet people nor can there ever be a guru who can teach the meaning of life whether in India or elsewhere. Maybe it is to be lived and experienced .
Hey hi…I’m from Pune Maharashtra India…whatever experience u hv fine with that… It’s not easy to understand the culture…
Bt I’m damn sure that if u understand it deeply very very deeply this country will be your final destination of traveling…Bcoz tons of different culture exist in India nd u never find anywhere else on the planet…So its warm request to you please come to India nd be a family member permanently…Namaste?
Hahaha yeah.. India is a total assault on all senses, all at the same time, and it’s a force few people can withstand. As a local, I’m completely in agreement with your post. India has enough and more of problems that they often dispense with niceties and manners. Though culturally, the North+West parts, the East part and the South part are vastly different from each other, and even Indians face culture shock when they move from one part to another. Generally speaking, the East and the South are easier for people to acclimatise themselves to, culturally. The stares are fewer, the smiles get mellower, the dirt is lesser. All relative, though 🙂